Even as the Institute of Expertology has embarked on a preliminary study of Senator Barack Obama’s positions on such subjects as Iraq War troop withdrawals, public campaign financing, and the merits of the NAFTA agreement, Andy Borowitz has been analyzing the reaction the presumptive Democratic Party nominee’s recent remarks on these topics has produced in a specific group of experts: liberal bloggers. In pursuit of our continuing nonpartisan goal of contributing to uninhibited academic discourse, we are proud to reproduce Mr Borowitz’s report here:
Liberal Bloggers Accuse Obama of Trying to Win Election;
Nominee Called Traitor to Democrats’ Losing Tradition
The liberal blogosphere was aflame today with new accusations that Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) is trying to win the 2008 presidential election.
Suspicions about Sen. Obama’s true motives have been building over the past few weeks, but not until today have the bloggers called him out for betraying the Democratic Party’s losing tradition.
“Barack Obama seems to be making a very calculated attempt to win over 270 electoral votes,” wrote liberal blogger Carol Foyler at LibDemWatch.com, a blog read by a half-dozen other liberal bloggers. “He must be stopped.”
But those comments were not nearly as strident as those of Tracy Klugian, whose blog LoseOn.org has backed unsuccessful Democratic candidates since 2000.
“Increasingly, Barack Obama’s message is becoming more accessible, appealing, and yes, potentially successful,” he wrote. “Any Democrat who voted for Dukakis, Mondale or Kerry should regard this as a betrayal.”
Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean said that he was “sympathetic” to the concerns of bloggers who worry that their nominee seems stubbornly bent on winning the election, but he warned them that the DNC’s “hands are tied.”
“If Sen. Obama is really determined to win, I don’t think any of us can talk him out of it,” Mr. Dean said.
Liberal bloggers said that they would be watching Sen. Obama’s vice-presidential selection process “very closely” for signs that he is plotting to win the election.
“Barack Obama still has a chance to pick someone disastrous as a sign that he wants to lose this thing,” Ms. Foyler wrote. “If not, he should brace himself for some really mean blog posts.”
If you enjoyed Andy’s essay, check out his earlier article about how Iraq’s Sunnis and Shiites are conspiring to confuse John McCain. You can find it by clicking here. Or, better still, visit Andy’s website, and subscribe to his brilliant Internet column, The Borowitz Report . It’s free!